Today we are going to have another go at improving or 'up levelling' some writing.
Mrs Williams has had a go at creating the beginning of a new story, based on the 'Castle Adventure' but using her own ideas to change it and make it her own.
Click here to read Mrs Williams' story writing.
Now we would like you to try to improve Mrs Williams' story beginning - make it even better!
Look at the words / phrases which have been highlighted (see below) and see if you can think of better adjectives (describing words) and try to add more detail to give a better picture to the reader. You might be able to think of more than one word which you could use instead of or as well as the ones in the story. Share your ideas with a grown up.
For example - instead of 'big', you could use 'enormous' or 'gigantic'.
Click here to see the highlighted words or phrases, which we would like you to improve.
Extension: If you would like to, you could write out the story beginning, including your improved words or phrases.